I am a social jerk

Does this happen to anyone else? I go to the convenient store (usually 7-11), and when I am paying for my goods (usually a slurpee) the checker tries to make small talk with me and most the time its someone ethnic (usually an Arabic or whatever). OKAY...nine times out of ten I cannot understand a WORD they are saying! And I usually just sort of improvise and laugh a little and nod my head in agree-ance with whatever they say. (Bad move but I wont go into how that could lead to destruction quickly..."you be my wife?"...."uh huh"...)

This is how the conversation went down this morning at 7:45 AM when I get to the checker and pay for my slurpee....

Aladdin: Ello ow are ou?

Me: I'm good thanks.

Aladdin: blahblahchant WORK blahblahchuckle

(all I got out of that was "work")

Me: (shake my head assuming he said something about how its time for work?)

Aladdin: Right?

Me: (sarcastically) yeaaah right.

Aladdin: Come on it is like 30 degrees outside!

(thinking he said something about me buying a slurpee..... I replied)

Me: Well I have kind of a sore throat so this out to help right?

Aladdin: chucklejibberjabber WORK ello i not feel good chucklejibberjabber HOME.

(I try to just laugh and swipe my debit card)

Aladdin: O oki blahblahjibberjabber WORK laughchuckleblahblah.

Me: *chuckle* I do what I gotta do....Have a good day...?

(I dont lie either...I said it as a question).

I got in my car and started it and I could see him talking to the guy that was behind me in line and they pointed at me and laughed and shook their heads...all I could think of was how I probably looked like the biggest jerk.

It's times like that, that I wish I could turn on like closed captioning in my head or something...like sub-titles maybe? But what do I do? Are you supposed to say "look I cant understand you".

My mom is the nicest person ever and makes ethnic people feel like the reason she cant understand them is because they have such a beautiful accent. I dont feel like I could lie, I dont think their accent is beautiful its a challenge and I am frustrated! I'm not racist or discriminating. I just wish I had the ability to understand without going "huh? what was that?" and STILL not being able to understand.

I want subtitles...

Closed Captioning...

Something please.

Miss Robotimus

Me: "I wish my car was a Transformer that way I would have the upperhand in 5:00 traffic"
Legena: "lol I hear ya!"
Me: "Do they even have a 5:00 rush hour in Rangely?"
(Rangely is a tiny little itty bitty town on the very west border of Colorado. It has one stop light and a population of maybe 1000 people.)
Legena: "No."

Besides that, I really am sick of rush hour traffic, and I just think if my car had the ability to transform into a huge robot I could be home or to school within two GIANT transformer steps from my work, and visa versa. I hate getting on the freeway in the A.M. because I feel like no one knows how to merge. It looks like everyone just stops as soon as they are merging on the freeway because they all the sudden forgot every flippin thing they ever learned in drivers ed, and its just a sea of red brake lights for about five minutes. I repeat the same thing every morning once everyone has merged and done their thing, "See now was that so F!@*ING hard?!" (Never realizing of course that I probably do the exact same thing and someone is probably cursing me).

Most of the time I feel like I am the only person in the world who knows how to drive, and while I'm in this stop and go traffic, all I can think of is how much I wish wish wish my car was a Transformer. I'd call her Miss Robotimus. Transportation would be so much easier. Grand Theft Auto also comes to mind, and how cool it would be to just be able to shoot at peoples cars. I'm not one for road rage and I would never want to kill someone for being a dumbass driver, because come on its not their fault they didn’t have me as a teacher, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to shoot out the tires of most of the vehicles on the road, or just beat the shit out of their cars with a baseball bat.
Rush hour traffic - 1
Anna and Miss Robotimus - 0

for now….

Bust Ickets.

Bus tickets? I remember when I was in middle school and junior high receiving what now seems to be about 6 or 7 bus tickets. for those of you who don’t know, bus tickets are a way for the school bus driver to have some sort of authority by rationing out small pieces of gold paper to students who don’t seem to follow the rules of the school bus. the ticket would include your name, info, what rule you broke, and what ticket number this was. if you were one of the delinquints to receive one of these golden tickets you had to have your parent sign the paper before you could ride the bus again. after your 3rd or 4th ticket (I cant remember) you were kicked off the bus permanently until the next school year. I'm sure there is a way to rectify the situation if your parent met with the bus cop….err driver, and something was arranged, but my mom obviously never did that. How do you justify your 12, 13, or 14 year old being such a pain in the ass to get kicked off the school bus? I could see how my mom would have been embarrassed, and how she thought it might reflect on her as a parent by me being so obnoxious. so maybe giving me rides to school for the remainder of the school year was easier in the long run. I guess my question is when these Bus Drivers are going threw bus driver school is there a section of training on rationing out these 'tickets'? I remember getting one once and I went home and when I told my mom I had gotten another bus ticket my brother in law (who was a police officer at the time) was honestly confused and asked if there were cops on the bus. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head..HEY that’s a good point, only cops can give out tickets that hold any sort of authority (obviously that was the wrong attitude to have seeing how I wasn’t allowed to ride the bus most of my 7th, 8th, and 9th grade year). But ever since he made that comment I could never get a bus ticket without laughing, and thinking it wasnt legit because the bus driver wasn’t a cop. Maybe that’s why I got so many. My next question is…why was I so obnoxious? Why couldn’t I just follow the rules? Rebellion? Attention? Sorry bus driver, but giving me a seat assignment to seats #1, 2, or 3 and writing me your rent a cop bus tickets just arent gonna cut it. I guess I just thought it was funny. My mom however wasn’t laughing. Sorry Mom, but thank you for carting my sorry ass to school so many days for getting all those unruley golden bus tickets.